Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Recipes for fun-controlled, low taste meals

After a weekend of creme de cacao and whipped cream, it's time to atone. Another of the pamphlets my grandma sent a few weeks ago is the perfect antidote:

"Recipes for Fat-Controlled, Low Cholesterol Meals" (1972) is from the American Heart Association.

The cover is mind blowing if you pay attention, what with the monstrous chicken perched atop the petite cow who happens to be standing on an enormous fish that does not seem to mind its cow-and-chicken hat one bit. Maybe it's mesmerized by the enormous cruet of oil. I'm hoping those are kidney beans under the fish.

Meanwhile, the turkey stares down some massive broccoli and cabbage while the pot of mustard sidles away from the ketchup and considers committing some infidelities with the apples, pineapple, and just maybe the angel food cake. Yum.

I'll bet you won't be surprised to learn that the cover is more interesting than a lot of the recipes.

Oven "fried" chicken is nothing particularly shocking, but this version manages to be even more boring than usual:

Were you thinking of adding something for flavor? The last line of the ingredients promises, "Seasoning is not necessary, as crumbs are tasty."

When you're eating, just repeat that line quietly to yourself, as often as necessary, while secretly hoping that at least your tears will give it a little flavor. "Seasoning is not necessary, as crumbs are tasty. Seasoning is not necessary, as crumbs are tasty. Seasoning is not necessary, as crumbs are tasty."

Part of me suspects that I'd be better off with the super-bland than with the recipes they TRY to add some flavor, though:

Okay, maybe scallops painted up with a honey-mustard-curry slurry sounds perfectly reasonable to some of you, but my hatred of sweet-and-savory combined with my fear of condiments makes this sound like another candidate for dinner in hell.

Apparently my grandmother actually used this booklet. Here is the one "comment" (if I may call it that) she wrote:

Apparently grandma was not impressed with seasoned broccoli. It looks innocuous enough (if you don't mind dry mustard)-- just broccoli steamed with a bit of oil and a few simple seasonings-- but grandma didn't want to make the mistake of cooking this again!

Ah, well. How about dessert? I found one that combines two types of desserts that I've been writing about lately. Can you guess which ones?

If you guessed prunes and meringues-- DING DING DING! You won Cookbook Wednesday.

Thanks again to Modern Day Ozzie and Harriet for hosting.


  1. Why didn't just call the book "Hey, Fattie! Drop the Bucket of Chicken and Eat some Bland, Flavorless Food"? Hmmm, kind of a long title.

    1. I think that title was already taken for the American Diabetes Association cookbook.