Kind of freaky (but not super-freaky) candles

I'm always a bit disappointed when I hear Rick James's "Super Freak." If this is supposed to be about someone "very kinky," I have trouble taking that claim seriously if she's armed with "incense, wine, and candles." I'm not sure even my grandma could find that combination slightly freaky. I can think of some possibly kinky things to do with the candles, but given that they're keeping company with incense and wine, my expectations are pretty low. They're probably just there for mood lighting. Sigh.

That's my weird little way of saying that today we are going to see that even Good Housekeeping's Perfect Parties (1971) has some semi-freaky ways of using candles (for birthdays! I'm not implying GH is kinky!).

For those with a summer birthday, maybe shove a candle in some ice cream?



This looks pretty awesome, but there is a LOT of work involved in making sure it won't melt before it gets demolished by guests:

Yeah-- they recommend starting this several weeks ahead with multiple freezing stages. The end result looks great, though!

Apparently dads are not supposed to like sweets. This is the recommendation for dad's birthday. Can you tell what they've crowned with candles and set ablaze?

 

The tiny bread slices at the edges might give you a clue.

Dad is apparently supposed to like cheese. I mean, REALLY like cheese. For a regular party, it calls for six pounds of baby Edam! No one in my family was ever popular enough to have a party that would require 96 ounces of cheese, but I'm sure there are some people out there who would need it. (Even the "small party" option of three 10-ounce baby Goudas would have been too much for us...) Either way, at least the "recipe" is a lot easier and mostly involves using a wooden skewer to make a series of equidistant holes in the tops of cheeses.

My favorite freaky use of candles, though, is of course the one that is the greatest fire hazard:

How can I resist the vision of candles precariously balanced in pineapple leaves, especially when the pineapple top is resting equally precariously atop its shell filled with (rapidly melting) ice cream? Put that baby a little too close to the curtains, and that will be a birthday party to remember!

So there you have it: some semi-freaky candle creations from Good Housekeeping. Have a super freaky weekend!