Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Going Down to South Park!

I'm going down to South Park. Gonna have myself a time.

Okay, maybe not that South Park:

No, I'm going to the South Park in Dayton, Ohio. How We the Woman's Society of Christian Service Cook at South Park Methodist Church, Volume II (1961) shows that 1.) South Park Methodists like really long titles and 2.) even if only one woman actually wants a society, she will get it. She can even put out her own cookbook. That's just how accommodating those Methodists are.

I love the connection between the title and the illustration as well. How do we cook? We hire a very triangular chef to do our cooking for us. I'm pretty sure that's not the intended message, but that's what it looks like...

So what do the people of South Park Methodist Church like to eat? They seem to like weird deviled eggs.

For an appetizer or salad, there's Jellied Deviled Eggs. Just make regular deviled eggs, then submerge them in celery-and-olive-filled lemon Jell-O! Yum!

If appetizer or salad course seems a little too predictable a path for deviled eggs, though, a casserole might be more your style:

Why eat a plain old casserole of peas and ham in a cheese sauce when there can be piping hot deviled eggs buried in the bottom of it?

For all their weird attachment to deviled eggs, the people of Dayton do not seem to care much for a dish nearly anyone would consider a classic...

This is the Beverages and Sandwiches chapter in its entirety. Notice anything missing? The good people of South Park Methodist do not seem to believe in sandwiches. The parable of loaves and fishes never said they put the two components together, dammit, so the Methodist ladies are not going to just assume it's okay in the eyes of God to layer bread and meat together into some unholy union. (Orange juice, lemonade, pineapple juice, and tangerine juice having a five-way with maraschino cherries is totally on the up-and-up, though, as is deviling the eggs, obviously.)

Well, I'm off to make an unholy union by sandwiching some peanut butter between some chocolates. Pray for my soul if you want, but it will be way more fun if you make your own unholy sandwich.

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