Bready party!

What do you think of when you think of a party? (I usually think of cringing in the corner and waiting for it to be over because I am an introvert. Or if it's VCR Party Live, then I'm watching weird shit on YouTube and enjoying an alcoholic beverage on Joe's behalf since the host gave up drinking.) Well, What Kind of a Party Shall I Give? (1939) is from Wolf's Extra Fine Bread and Quality Bakers of America, so they think parties are distinguished by "unusual bread combinations."

I wasn't sure what that meant, exactly. Would the recipes somehow involve slices of rye, whole wheat, white, and sourdough sandwiched inside a croissant, or something like that? That would be an unusual combination of breads. Of course, that's not quite what the bakers had in mind. These recipes mostly involve putting kinda-weird fillings into regular bread. Like American cheese, mayonnaise, and marmalade.

Or slathering slices of toast with Boston baked beans mixed into a white sauce.

I assumed we were in trouble when I saw scare quotes in the "Tasty" Sandwiches.

But these are just open-faced sandwiches topped with ham and slices of pork or chicken, then topped with white sauce and cheese before being broiled. I'm not sure such a sloppy concoction is the best thing to serve at a party, but at least it sounds better than the Boston baked beans in white sauce!

Alternatively, if you want a "sophisticated tidbit" to serve as an appetizer, you might turn your toast into "chariots" loaded with "fluffy, golden, scrambled eggs"...

...and drawn by a team of animal crackers. You know, sophisticated.

It's not all bread with weird-ish toppings, though. Good party foods could instead be loaded full of breadcrumbs, like this Kidney Bean Loaf.

Nothing says "party" like a solid chunk of kidney beans held together by American cheese, bread crumbs, and eggs. Mmm-mmm!

But surprisingly, the book does sometimes seem to forget its premise, and the recipes don't bother with bread at all, like the Hobo Picnic. (Of course, "hobo" is not really a title we would use anymore!)

Yes, most of this "recipe" consists of a plan to trick your friends into peeling potatoes, hiking outdoors, and building a fire. Their reward, in the end, is potatoes and frankfurters boiled in a bucket and served on a stick. Woo-eee! The end of the description-- "Maybe your friends won't enjoy a meal like this after the exercise they have had! If you think they won't, you don't know them" frankly makes me wonder if the people who wrote this book personally know any humans. I can't imagine too many people would be in high spirits after being bossed around all afternoon only to receive a skewered plain boiled hot dog and a skewered plain boiled potato in return. (Even if the host does remember the mustard, I don't think this will significantly shift the mood.)

So, in short, while I realize I have no real sense of what makes a good party, I may have Wolf's Extra Find Bread and Quality Bakers of America beat. At the very least, I have some sense of what is unlikely to work. Maybe.