Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Ground meat and doilies!

Since I ended last month with a pie, I felt like ending this one with pie too. This time (as usual!), I will NOT be making the recipes. As far as I'm concerned, black bottom pie is probably way yummier than either of these recipes from The Ground Meat Cookbook (1955). I know Leatherface wasn't impressed by black bottom pie, so I'm not sure he would agree with my assessment, but that's part of the reason I don't cook for him.

First up: Get out Grannie's doilies! It's time to use them as a backdrop to this ... thing. It kind of looks like a can of corn dumped into some kind of granola-and-melted-marshmallow-based crust. Top it with a couple of pepper rings and tell Zedekiah to get the pie server!

Okay, the crust isn't really based on marshmallows and granola. This is from a ground meat cookbook, so I'll bet you can figure it out!

Yes, it's meat-crusted corn pie! The crust is ground beef and pork with milk, egg, seasonings, and "uncooked brown granular wheat cereal"-- whatever that might be. I was thinking cream of wheat, but that's not very brown. Wheat germ? I'm really not sure. Fill it with canned corn corn (or if you're feeling exotic, canned lima beans), onion, and tomato soup. It doesn't sound promising, but Mid-Century Menu proclaims that this one is surprisingly edible.

What if your tastes run toward chili topped with a nice cornbread? Another recipe on the same page will give you a "Corn Bread-Crowned Meat and Bean Pie" ...

...but the meat and beans are not exactly of the chili variety. Instead, lurking under the glorious cornbread crown is a mixture of ground "luncheon meat" with extra-sloppy baked beans. I guess some people would find that arrangement acceptable (just like some people think it's okay to eat a solid block of condiment or make barbecue Jell-O), but the unpleasant surprise of getting Spam-n-baked beans instead of delicious chili would kill me. I mean, I would take one scoop, see what was under the deliciously-browned cornbread, and slump over dead onto the floor, hopefully pulling this monstrosity down too. If I had to go, I'd want to at least take it down with me. I have a code of honor.

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