Burgers that make you go "Huh?"

It's the weekend, so I got you some "beautiful" burgers! They're from the Hamburger Cookbook (1977) in Betty Crocker's 4 in 1 Cookbook Collection (1980).

Love a burger with a big, slimy, squash-looking thing plunked down on top of it? You're in luck!

Or is the slimy "squash" cucumber rings with raw egg yolks? Zucchini with orange juice concentrate?

It's actually not as bad as it looks. These are Taco Patties:

The scary-looking topping is just avocados (cut in rings!) with a cheese-and-taco sauce treatment.

I'm not sure I've ever been so frightened by a picture and reassured by the actual recipe before. I might get whiplash from this one.

If your secret burger fantasy is for a sandwich that looks as if it could double as food for your pet lizard colony, then I have just the thing for you:

Mealworm burger! Just dress it up for the human diners with a sesame seed bun. (They will be grateful for anything to cover up this atrocity.)

Okay, I'm admittedly not as excited about the thought of a Chow Mein on a Bun as I am about the Taco Patties, but this again doesn't sound nearly as bad as it looks. If you can abide by some ginger, bean sprouts, and water chestnuts in your sandwich, then this is probably fine.

My favorite part of this recipe might just be the variation. Would you rather just have Chow Mein? Then serve Chow Mein on a Bun... Now I hope the explanation is not too complicated for you to follow, but I'll try my best... Serve it without the bun! That's one hell of a variation.

I just hope someday I can be as creative as Betty Crocker.