It's back to school time! Betty Crocker's Good and Easy Cookbook (1971) suggests changing up the morning routine to make sure the kids get off to school fully nourished. If you want to make the kids happy (and make their teachers want to murder you), there is always this sweet option:
There's a reason for that.
It is, in fact, a chocolate shake made with a pint of chocolate ice cream. It's okay because the Cocoa Puffs make it breakfast-y!
If the kids are in a rush, you might want to just send them out with a cereal bar. In the '70s, you had to make those things yourself. If the kids insisted on peanut butter and jelly everything, then these might fit the bill...
...if that weirdly overpowering artificial fruit flavor in Trix counts as jelly, and sugar held together with more sugar counts as nutrition. (And it does! Cf. Cocoa-Cereal Milk Shake)
If you want something slightly more nutritionally sound (but just as weird), then the boringly-named Breakfast Bars might work...
The best way to motivate the kids to get out of the house when they'd rather stay home and play with their Weebles might be to serve them something that won't make them inclined to linger. Do baked apples sound good on a crisp, edge-of-fall morning?
Well, the closest you're going to get is crushed Wheaties dumped over some applesauce. Take it or leave it, kid.
And of course, I'm saving the best recipe to motivate the kids to get the hell out for last:
Yep: Soup 'n Cereal! If the inherent nastiness of having a can of tomato soup dumped over corn flakes or puffed rice isn't enough to make the kids run screaming out to the bus stop, the knowledge that mom is in the kind of mood that makes this seem like an appropriate breakfast should be. When mom gets that look in her eyes as she's pouring hot red soup over the Cheerios, run!