Saturday, May 5, 2018

Derby Day Dishes

Are you ready to watch tiny, tiny people try to hold onto horses running in a great big circle, desperately hoping that nobody slips and breaks some bones?

As you may have guessed, I'm not exactly the biggest Kentucky Derby fan in the world, but I realized my copy of The Courier-Journal & Times Cookbook (Lillian Marshall, 1971) has a whole Kentucky Derby menu, as The Courier-Journal is Louisville's newspaper.

So what do --Louisvillians? Louisvillites? -- recommend for a Derby Day party?

It's quite a spread:


That's a spring leg of lamb front and center, surrounded by an ice cream sundae for 25, salami slices rolled around cream cheese, a fruit thing that might pass for a forehead enhancement on a particularly flamboyant Star Trek alien, and a cauliflower that got too close to Regan MacNeil.

Of course, the only thing most of you are thinking about is in the bottom right-- the mint juleps. Just in case you need the recipe:


Fun Fact: When I was a kid, I had a Mint Tulip Strawberry Shortcake doll. I always wondered what the heck a mint tulip was supposed to be... I mean, I knew what blueberry muffins and butter cookies were, but mint tulips? And now, 30-some years later, I'm smacking my forehead and realizing the toy line couldn't openly admit to naming a kids' toy after an alcoholic beverage.

If you're curious about what got hosed all over the cauliflower, it's not actually a gift from Pazuzu:


It's watercress blended with onion, vinegar, mustard, mayo, and sour cream because why enjoy a simple sour cream sauce when you can make it look like pond scum instead?

If you want a supremely time-consuming way to waste good alcohol, the fruit platter was made for you:


Yay! Spend a whole morning arranging fruit and lacquering it up with lemon-gelatin-wine glaze while all your friends are day drinking.

The menu will, in any case, get everyone sufficiently ready to celebrate. If the mint juleps and wine-soaked fruit aren't enough, the sundae is packing a little something special too:


It wouldn't be Kentucky Sauce without a good shot of bourbon.

If you're a fan, enjoy the race and the bourbon! Bourbon just tastes like nail polish remover to me, so you can have your fun in peace without me pestering you.

10 comments:

  1. I'm a little suspicious of any recipe that instructs you to let it "ripen". I also didn't realize Kentucky had an official sauce. Now I'm going to have to start googling names of different states with the word sauce. (Illinois has recipes for horseshoe sauce - quite appropriate for derby day!)

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  2. On a totally unrelated (to this particular blog post, but related to your blog in general) I found the T-shirt you need. https://www.raygunsite.com/collections/t-shirts-1/products/salad-with-marshmallows

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    1. Ha! Funny, but the first part is untrue if I'm the one wearing it.

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    2. Yeah, that first part is not true for a lot of people. They just want to draw you in so they can feed you something really disgusting and watch your misery as you try to be polite.

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    3. That's true. We're a very passive-aggressive people!

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    4. Yeah, they know (so do I). https://www.raygunsite.com/collections/the-midwest/products/midwest-weapons-passive-aggressive-metal-magnet

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    5. Ha! They've covered their bases.

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  3. Nice Exorcist reference! I spied that Normancy sauce recipe, what do you think consistutes as tart jelly? No dirty jokes!
    BTW, the Strawbery Shortcake series is AWFUL. She didn't deserve a reboot

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    1. I guess I'm not allowed to say tart jelly is whatever kind that tart keeps on her bedside table, then!

      I haven't seen the series, but I've seen the classic-style toys they're selling now. I'm sad that Blueberry Muffin's signature hat has disappeared.

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