I was pretty nice with my initial post for the Re/Max Holiday Cookbook (1977). The book is loaded with yummy-sounding pumpkin pies, but don't worry, there's plenty of questionable-sounding stuff in there as well, and that is my Christmas present to you. So let's settle down with a Holiday of Horror menu...
First off, an appetizer that is sure to turn icky brown in no time.
Yep-- precut the avocados while you make the clam dip, then let them sit around the dip all evening, waiting to somehow be covered in clam dip and eaten with toothpicks without ending up all over someone's tie or down the front of a cocktail dress. I guess it's not just the appetizer, but also the entertainment.
Oh, by the way, the appetizer is also the only thing in the whole meal that is not sweet. Those Re/Max agents really believed in sweets, so the rest of the menu might get a bit cloying. Let's start with the protein. While I can imagine a lot of people coming to the defense of pork with pears, which is not so different from the popular pork with apples pairing, well...
I imagine a lot fewer people getting excited about Pork with Peppermint Pears. And if the pork is not sufficiently pepperminty, it gets served with extra syrup. (Yeah, the roast gets served with syrup, not gravy.)
Now you need some veggies, and maybe you went a little too crazy when you were buying the pears. No problem! Throw the extras in the side dish too.
At least this rendition has no marshmallow topping and only a half-cup of brown sugar, so this Sweet Potato Pear Casserole might be one of the less sweet parts of dinner.
Of course, no dinner is complete without bread, but you need that to be festive too, right?
Eggnog Bread to the rescue! (I didn't think candied cherries or chopped nuts were standard issue in eggnog, but this is a loose interpretation.)
And since we've had plenty of sugar already, we'll go with Confection Logs for dessert, since the name alone may be enough to turn you off.
They're microwaved! And made from pancake mix! So you're not missing out on much if you skip dessert after all that other sugar. See how thoughtful I can be if I really try? (Yep, barely. But I'm all set on self-congratulatory, so that's something.)
Have a happy holiday! And/or a happy Saturday! Or whatever! Just don't celebrate with this crap.
I've heard of people making eggnog french toast, now they can make eggnog bread to make the french toast with and get a double dose.
ReplyDeleteI'd also never thought about peppermint pork. Nothing like having your after dinner mint with the main dish.
It seems like peppermint would end up making everything taste funny-- like brushing your teeth while you're eating. Yum!
DeleteYes-- The title is probably the worst part of "Confection Logs." The recipe seems, well, not good, but at least inoffensive. I hope you had something much better for your holiday!
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