A factory of one's own

Today, I will start with something that looks relatively innocuous:

Okay, maybe you're thinking, "What's the big deal? It's bean spread." Probably not the tastiest bean spread recipe you've ever seen: mashed lima beans with pickle relish and mayonnaise. Still, not that big a deal.

Have you looked at the last sentence, though?

Yes, it asks you to spread the beans on a halved donut! And why would you do that? Because this is a recipe from the "Dazey Donut Factory Instruction and Recipe Book" (1977). Just as Wilton tries to convince cake makers that specialty pans work for any occasion and early microwave cookbooks suggested that the appliance could do anything, the Dazey Donut Factory makers wanted to work donuts into every place they possibly could.

How about donuts with hot spreads?

I love the way this says most spreads "could be used between the Corn Meal Donut halves as after-school snacks." The "could" really sells it. Spackle could be spread on the halves and fed to the kids too, I suppose, but that doesn't mean it would be a great idea.


Why not have donuts for dinner?

Top 'em with creamed tuna or chipped beef, and you've got yourself a main dish!



Or make Mexican donuts. (If you're thinking of churro-spiced donuts, then you don't know how this site works.)

You make them by topping donuts with Mexican scrambled eggs. (I love the revelation that you can mix "Rotell sauce" (Ro-Tel) right into the eggs.)






Of course, the trick here is that the dishes are probably not as disgusting as they initially sound. The donuts in question are not traditional glazed or cake donuts, but (as you may have noticed) corn meal:

They're essentially corn meal muffins cooked in a Dazey Donut Factory. Of course, we can't make actual corn meal muffins because that wouldn't involve the new toy.

Okay, one last recipe that sounds a lot weirder before you know the trick:

Green onion and bacon donuts!

Serve with creamed ham, mushrooms, and a little speech about how you're really getting your money's worth out of the Dazey Donut Factory, and your husband was so wrong when he said it was a waste of money and would just take up space in the basement and we didn't need it. So there!