Mainly Plain Maine Food

If you'ah ready to see today's cookbook, just say "Ayuh."

And thus ends Poppy's attempt to speak like a Mainer to get into the spirit for Maine Coastal Cooking (Courier-Gazette, Inc., Rockland, Maine, 1973). I'm sure you're relieved.

Of course, it has a bunch of ways to cook seafood, like this Northeastern answer to the South's chicken and waffles:

It's creamed crabmeat on waffles! At least you're not supposed to pour maple syrup over all this (as far as I can tell).

The seafood recipes mostly seem pretty standard, though. Another salad that mixes celery and mayonnaise with lobster/ crab/ shrimp/ tuna is not exactly a thrill. I was more interested in the make-do recipes, like the hot dogs that try to masquerade as a holiday dinner.

All you need is a pound of "frankfurts," stale bread, onion, a little bacon, and a good working knowledge of how to make dressing. (Or if you're out of bread and/or frankfurts, raw potatoes and hamburg make great substitutions.)

And if you're fresh out of processed meats, there's always veggie loaf.

Okay, the vegetarian loaf is mostly mashed potatoes with onions, bread, shredded wheat, and nuts mixed in, so it is bound to be a weird starch-fest, but it's something.

The desserts are often very utilitarian too. Have some leftover Grape-Nuts?

They'll be a fine dessert if you cook them in custard. (I'm sure they're better this way than eating them for breakfast in the "bowl of kitty litter" method.)

What if you have a whole loaf of rapidly staling bread? Make a massive bread and butter pudding.

I've never seen a recipe that butters every slice in a loaf, layers the slices with currants, covers all in custard, and bakes the whole shebang in a mold. There's a practical dessert for a big family.

Maine families knew how to have fun, though. For a special occasion, they could make Sham Champagne!

Yes, they still had some good temperance drinks...

I don't actually want to try any of this, but I am kind of in love with with the quiet practicality of the collection... And that's not even counting the seriously down-to-earth recipes from 1664. (Notice the note at the bottom of the cover? Yes, this also has some recipes from a 17th-century cookbook. Stay tuned.)