The sky is blue, and all the leaves are green. The sun's as warm as a baked potato. How about we go camping? We'll need a good outdoor cookbook. Maybe Cooking Out-of-Doors (Girl Scouts of the U.S.A., 1960) will be fun.
If we need something to snack on before we get the camp all set up and the fire started, we can bring along some Walking Salads.
I love that the recipe explains that these cottage-cheese-salad-filled apples are called walking salads because they "can be eaten while hiking." I assumed that apples sprouted legs and gained sentience when they were filled with GORP-flavored soft cheese. I'm glad that mystery got explained.
I was never a Girl Scout, but if I had been, I would have been the one who refused to eat a walking salad because mayonnaise, even if these are darn cute.
Once camp is set up, we could make sandwich fillings that might be tasty if your tolerance for canned fruit with processed cheese is pretty high.
I would, of course, have been the one who made a big deal about how I didn't want pineapple in mine. Then I would have noticed the cheese melting and dripping into the fire as I heated my half-empty Hiker's Knapsack, and I would have dropped the ham slice into the fire while attempting to reposition it so I wouldn't lose all the cheese. So I would have been the one eating a plain bun while everyone else had real sandwiches.
Maybe if we're cooking on sticks, it would be better to try to roast something more hot-dog-shaped.
I'm used to hot dogs wrapped in bacon, but bananas? Yeah, I would have been the one who wanted a banana on the side, and I would have dropped my bacon into the fire in an attempt to heat it on its own. So I would have had half a banana and a peanut butter hot dog bun, separately. (We'd have peanut butter so the other Scouts could earn their Elvis badge by eating a grilled Bacon-Banana-on-a-Stick with peanut butter.)
Now for dessert. I know everybody thinks of S'mores (or Some-Mores, as this cookbook styles the name) as the ultimate campfire treat, but I was more interested to see that the book features an also-ran cracker-based confection:
If the choice to pair with toasted marshmallow is between graham crackers and chocolate OR saltines and nutmeats, well, I can see why Marguerites are not the treat that got remembered. Even if I would be a total pain in the ass to go camping with, I'll bet most people would agree with me on this one!
So happy trails! Enjoy your trip. Don't worry-- I'll set up my own camp off to the side so I can eat my peanut butter buns alone. You can go as crazy with the condiments and fruits as you want. But maybe, if you like, we can make a few Some-Mores together on the last night before we head home. If I don't accidentally drop the bag of marshmallows into the fire.
No walking salads around here, everyone does walking tacos. I always think of them as walking diarrhea (probably because of that time I had several co-workers who called in sick the next day after eating (not walking tacos, just regular takeout) at the Mexican restaurant across the street).
ReplyDeleteOverall the girl scouts don't seem interested in serving the kids actual food. We'll give you a paper thin slice of meat, and a paper thin slice of cheese with a bun to make it look like you have food. You also better eat your marguerites in the middle of the day when the solar cooker will be working its best. No evening time marshmallow treats for you! Speaking as a kid who once got sick on toasted marshmallows, I would be the one who just at the marshmallow, gave the cracker to the birds, and threw my sorry little nut meat at the idiot who decided to make these recipes. I guess I would be banished to a camp site by myself as well.
Yep! We'll always be the cantankerous weirdos at the edge of camp.
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