Raise a glass to Heisey

I had absolutely no idea what Heiseyites were when I spotted Heiseyite's Favorites. I assumed Heisey must be some small town I'd never heard of, but the inside cover specified that this collection was created by The Heisey Collectors of the Northern Illinois Club, so I knew it was something to collect. (I know, I have impressive deductive skills.)

Before trying to look Heisey  up, I turned another page and learned that "All of these recipes have been gathered from Heisey Collectors' Kitchens where lives have been touched with love for family, friends, and Heisey glassware; We say use them, enjoy them and share your board in Heisey fellowship throughout the years." So... glassware then. The book is undated, and it doesn't give any hint of whether it was written before or after Heisey closed in 1957. Apparently the brand was popular enough that there's still a Heisey museum with an annual membership option. (I shouldn't have looked it up because now I have a sudden urge to own a jade-green glass rabbit that I would immediately break when I tried to find someplace to display it. I guess the glass really does have an effect on people!)

In any case, the book is mimeographed, so it's unlikely to be any newer than from the 1970s. The book is pretty short, too-- maybe because nobody wanted to do that much mimeographing? In any case, it's got the selection of old recipes one might expect. There's a small twist on the traditional green bean casserole.

Yep-- This version becomes a main dish with the addition of pork chops between the layer of souped-up green beans and the topping of crunchy onions.

There's a sad little diabetic cookie recipe. At least there's an attempt to make them sound fun by calling them Cinnamon Pixie Cookies.

Note that the choices of using milk, fruit juice, or coffee as the liquid may also be an attempt to make the cookies sound more exciting than they probably are, given the unlikelihood that a stray tablespoon of fruit juice or coffee will have much of an impact on flavor.

There's a Cooling Summer Punch for sipping on Illinois porches from one's Heisey drinkware.

I have to admit that I think plain old lemonade sounds more cooling than lemonade with milk in it. I love the addition of "white soda," though.

There are homey little appetizers.

My favorite thing about Bacon Pull-Ups has to be the last sentence, noting that when you make these little rolls of bacon and cream cheese on white bread, you "Better figure at least 4-5 per person." (My second favorite detail is that the bread should be rolled up "like a rug.")

The thing that most caught my attention, though, was the final "recipe" in the booklet. It's one of those overly sentimental "recipe-for-friendship" type dealies, but this time the recipe is for Reality Cake.

Love? Happiness? Joy? Peace? "Contnentment"? (Notably the ingredients call for only two people, though, so the writer has to be an introvert who realizes that kids and/or too many social engagements ruin everything.) I can't help but wonder how long the writer had been an actual grownup, though, because this is a seriously idealized version of reality! My reality cake ingredients would probably be closer to this:

• 3 part-time jobs
• 1 3/4 hours sleep
• 2 sagging bookshelves that I can't get to without tripping over all the other books in front of them
• 1 1/2 papers left to grade before I momentarily think I'm done and then realize I forgot about this whole other folder
• 1/2 of a stale granola bar scrounged from the bottom of my backpack when I realized I left lunch at home on the counter
• 1 tsp. of peace and goddamn quiet (if available)

But who knows? Maybe reality really is better for people who collect Heisey glass and I'm just too much of a cynic. A jade-green glass rabbit might just change my life if I could avoid breaking it.