Contemplating shellfish, cheese, gelatin, and possibly criminal mermaids...

Is it cannibalism if a mermaid eats a fish? Just asking for a friend with big vacant eyes and a smile with the barest hint of menace.

I'm sure that's not supposed to be my takeaway from Tips on Cooking Fish and Shellfish (U.S. Department of the Interior Fish and Wildlife Service, Bureau of Commercial Fisheries, in cooperation with United States Fishing Industry, 1958), but you know how I am.

I was not always sure of what to expect in this booklet. I assumed that the Pizza of the Sea would be a pizza with anchovies (since they're the most traditional fishy pizza topping) or maybe tuna (as the name could be a play on chicken of the sea). Wrong on both counts.

This is a shrimp pizza! And it is only compounding my confusion about whether shellfish goes with cheese. Sometimes when I watch cooking shows like Chopped and a chef reaches for cheese to go with shellfish, the judges act like the contestant has just decided to mix dog shit into their dish. Then other times, the judges act all excited about the pairing, as if cheese and shellfish are just the best. There must either be some complicated rules that I don't grasp OR the judges react based on how they feel about the contestant rather than on any objective rules relating to shellfish plus cheese. In any case, cooking shows are the ONLY reason I care, as I don't eat shellfish anyway. But if anybody can tell me what the deal is, I'd appreciate the help. 

Oh, yeah. I was writing about Tips on Cooking Fish and Shellfish. Sorry I got distracted...  But you know what will get me back on track? Yep-- gelatin salad, or in this case, Sea Reef Salad.

I've got to give the government credit for realizing that unflavored gelatin is the way to go here. Plus real sour cream! Chill in a ring mold and serve with a salad of tomatoes, green pepper, and a hint of onion in the middle. It would be pretty to look at, and I have a feeling the type of people who actually enjoy mayonnaise-y salads would think this at least sounds okay.

You might expect the Maine Special would be a recipe for lobster, but you'd be wrong.

It's basically cheesy potatoes with those sardines Maine is apparently famous for.

Another confusing title: Fiesta Curry. Those two words generally don't come together...

I guess the Department of the Interior wanted to give the curry a name that fit the white 1950s vague and diffuse definition of ethnic, so "fiesta" it was. (Whether shrimp with onions and curry-flavored applesauce is a good combo is a separate question.)

I was probably most amused by the Seafood en Coquille, though.

Cooked peas, condensed mushroom soup, and canned seafood mixed together and cooked in shells under a layer of (apparently-acceptable) cheese? This is really just a very dressed-up, no-noodle version of a typical tuna casserole. I kind of love how sneaky it is.

In any case, if a big-eyed mermaid offers me anything to eat, I will definitely reject it.