Saturday, February 15, 2014

Eat! More or less....

The friend who gave me the lovely Tupperware cookbook had two nice surprises for me. The second was Family Fare: A Guide to Good Nutrition. It is the U.S. Department of Agriculture Home and Garden Bulletin No. 1 Nov. 1971 revision.

The Department of Agriculture has always had a difficult time providing sound nutritional advice because it is also supposed to encourage Americans to consume plenty of the very products we should be cutting back on, like meat and cheese. The Department can't say to eat more and eat less at the same time. Judging from a few recipes in this pamphlet, the USDA historically dealt with the contradictory mission by encouraging people to eat meat in recipes so disgusting that they wouldn't be tempted to eat more than they needed.

Exhibit 1:

Souffle meat salad.

Lemon gelatin and salad dressing, whipped until fluffy, then mixed with celery, onion, and your choice of chopped cooked meat, poultry, or canned or cooked fish.

If there is anything to encourage you to load up on the broiled tomatoes and asparagus as sides, this is it. No one will go over the recommended meat serving on this!

Exhibit 2:

Sardine puff.

This is basically a fishy version of bread pudding because everybody knows the one thing that could make bread pudding more delicious is a couple cans of Maine sardines.

Exhibit 3:

Saucy luncheon meat.

A pound of bologna or other finely diced luncheon meat, mixed with olives, mustard, and cream of mushroom soup and served over biscuits, rice, or noodles. You know, for times when shit on a shingle might seem just a little too upscale.

The USDA: Passive-aggressively serving self-contradictory functions since 1971!

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