Have a slice of condiment!

I will openly admit my weirdly strong anti-condiment bias. Most people seem to think a sandwich or salad can't be complete without ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, relish, barbecue sauce, and/or salad dressing, but just the smell of them almost gags me. I know that is just an oddity on my part since everyone else seems to love the stuff. Still, I can't think that I'm the only one who would think eating a big old slab of condiment with dinner is at least as weird as wanting no condiments at all.

The Midwestern Junior League Cookbook (The best recipes from the Junior Leagues of America's Heartland) edited by Ann Seranne (1978) would beg to differ.

One recipe masquerades as a way to use up leftover hard-boiled eggs:

Aside from the hard-boiled eggs, this is mostly mayonnaise flavored with a little "catsup" and thickened into a mold with gelatin. The recipe must be for all the people who think "I could eat mayonnaise with a spoon!" but have the social graces to edit that comment before it comes out of their mouths. They can make "Ring of Eggs" and pretend it's not just an excuse to eat jellied mayo.

The next recipe is for those who can't even be bothered to pretend they're not condiment freaks:

Mustard ring! For anyone who has ever wanted a slab of gelatinized mustard with a bit of chopped celery for texture.

I like watching horror movies before I go to bed. If Freddy shows up in my dreams, we will be pals. What will keep me up at night is knowing I live in a world where people apparently want to eat big bowls full of mustard and mayonnaise....