Saturday, June 3, 2017

Foil up father!

What's the best way to make dad feel like a king on Father's Day? I'll bet you can guess what 401 Party and Holiday Ideas from Alcoa (Conny von Hagen, 1971) has to say about that.

Yep. Foil crown. No surprise there.

Alcoa does have a couple of less expected things to make dad, though. What if dad might not know the gift from your little sister is from your little sister? You could just let her hand her own gift to him and say "Here, dad," but it is way more fun to wrap it in a bizarre way to indicate its "from little sister" status:

Help sis wrap the gift in a foil sheet, and then tape a balloon head with curly ribbon hair to the top so it will look like a doll. Surely dad wants a shiny, deflating doll for Father's Day. Or maybe this wrapping scheme is supposed to be some kind of a ruse to make your gift look great in comparison? Your guess is as good as mine on this one.

I love the super-awkward photo, too. It looks like dad got a little drunk and decided to pee on the wood paneling and little sis just swooped right in to give him a hug with her low-rent Raggedy Ann gift.

What foil delight should you give dad? I'm glad you asked. You're making dad a "people broom."

Apparently having a crown means nothing, as people broom gets a crown too. (I notice his is gold, too, and dad just gets silver. Read into that what you will.)

People broom also gets to smoke dad's pipe as he presents "the poem you wrote for him." (Well, aren't you sweet?)

I'm not sure if the slippers that match the background are supposed to be a gift, or if they're just there to indicate how relaxed the broom feels. They would seem to contradict the tie-- which again, is maybe a gift, or maybe a sign that the people broom got all dressed up for dad? People broom seems to love mixed signals just about as much as he loves having accessories that blend into the background.

This is Alcoa's full spread for Father's Day, so if you were expecting more of an explanation of why dear old dad would get excited about these gifts, you're out of luck.... just like dad. Although maybe if he's had enough to drink that he's pissing on the wall, the people broom will give him someone to talk to while mom takes the rest of the family out to visit grandma.


  1. Forget sad crafts. They could have borrowed from my life and advertised someone saying "I haven't washed my cake pans in five years!"