Breakfast that will take you all week!

When I originally wrote about The Farmington Cookbook (the historic Farmington house in Louisville, Kentucky; original date, 1968; mine is fifth printing, 1979), I didn't say much about the rather prominent sticker on the cover that designates this as the Official Kentucky Derby Hostess & Entertainment Guide. I wanted the Derby menu to come as a surprise. This week, the hostesses will be showing you how to do Derby Day breakfast right.

Yes, I know the Derby isn't until next weekend, but if you want to do it right, well, you better start now. This breakfast is an undertaking. 

Yep! It's for 24 guests. I frankly can't imagine being ready for 24 guests under any circumstances, much less at any reasonable hour for breakfast. And this thing has more dishes than my family's typical Thanksgiving dinner.

It starts out with (I guess?) breakfast appetizers. 

The Cheese Wafers are the typical cheese snacks people used to make when they didn't think Cheez-Its would be sufficiently fancy for the guests, but these are extra special in that they're topped with pecan halves or crystallized ginger.

Of course, no "fancy" menu used to be complete without tomato bouillon (chilled, in this case, since May is supposed to be a warmer month). 

I've never figured out why people used to find V-8 or tomato juice plus canned bouillon so alluring, but it's pretty ubiquitous in these old books.

I'm sure most of you are more interested in the Mint Juleps, and you may be delighted to know that this recipe is for Mint Juleps en Masse. After all, you'll need enough for a couple dozen people.

It's very reassuring to know that "most people will like these." Just hope the rest won't consider them crimes against mint juleps? I know nothing about making mixed drinks in general or mint juleps in particular, but the equivocating headnote makes me think that the writer kind of expects people to object somehow.

For this breakfast, one meat course isn't enough, so we'll need two. To cover those with a preference for poultry, there's Chicken Hash.

It's good to note that this "may be cooled, refrigerated and reheated slowly" later, as otherwise, cooks would need to start in the middle of the night to have this done by breakfast time. As if it's not hard enough to deal with a couple dozen people first thing in the morning, trying to do it on an hour's sleep would be even worse...

For those who wouldn't think it's a proper breakfast without some form of pork, there's the Country Ham. 

Yeah, I'm serious about how you have to plan ahead. The ham needs to be soaked and drained and soaked and drained, and that's even before we get to the glazing, baking, trimming, scoring, crusting, cooling, refrigerating, and trimming into thin slices for serving. I'm starting to realize that this menu for one meal is more work than I put into a whole week's worth of food.

But there is no time to reflect because we've still got to make some Corn Meal Battercakes.

Apparently, these aren't expected to be too popular, as the recipe makes only 16-18. They're in competition with the Hot Buttered Beaten Biscuits (no recipe given), so that could explain the small-for-this-menu recipe size.

I'm not usually a veggies for breakfast person, but this menu calls for three. In addition to the suggestions of Fresh Asparagus with Browned Butter and Bibb Lettuce and Watercress Salad (no recipes provided), hosts are also supposed to supply Stuffed Mushrooms Parmesan.

And no breakfast is complete without a dessert course, so in addition to the Strawberries with Powdered Sugar and Thick Cream, we have Muffin Cakes...

I guess the name is an admission that muffins with this much sugar are really cupcakes, especially if nobody even bothers to throw in some fruit to make them seem healthier?

Then finish it all off with Chocolate Truffles and Salted Pecans.

Honestly, the thought of trying to eat even half this stuff first thing in the morning makes me feel kind of queasy. Come to think of it, horseracing kind of makes me feel queasy too. (I want to warn the horses what will happen if they get injured.) And the thought of looking up more information about Farmington definitely makes me queasy... Very large house from early-1800s Kentucky that people are intent on preserving? Pretty sure slavery was involved there. (Yes, it definitely was.) So I think I'm going to give up on this breakfast before it makes me lose my lunch.