Wednesday, April 27, 2022

Maybe don't get your salad and pizza from a bank

 A Matter of Taste (The Heart Savings and Loan Association, 1979) certainly tries to look classy.



I mean, the cover has a crock of paté, wine, fresh berries, and perfectly picturesque desserts. As I read, though, I unsurprisingly found myself drawn to the homier recipes. I decided to represent this book with a classic pairing: salad and pizza.

Of course, you know I have to go with surprising twists on the old classics, though, so...

...maybe your gourmet spinach salad-- you know, the kind with crispy bacon and marinated artichoke hearts!-- will also have cantaloupe chunks along for the ride because everyone knows "gourmet" is code for "ruined with a garbage fruit"? 

Alternatively, for an international mashup meal, we could start with a Mandarin-Chicken Salad.

You know, the kind that starts out with equal parts mayonnaise and marshmallow creme... and that gets served on cantaloupe rings, for some reason. Maybe this cookbook was also sponsored by the National Garbage Fruit Association?

One final option, since no list of salads is complete without a gelatin-based entry:

Beet Gelatin Salad! Now featuring julienne beets, crushed pineapple, celery, beet juice, and sweet pickle brine! I'm kind of surprised that the dressing for this one doesn't feature mayo and marshmallow creme combo, but you can always mix and match if you're so inclined.

Now, on to the pizza. If you want an actual pizza-like pizza with a very '70s sensibility, there's Stroganoff Pizza.

You'll end up with not one, but TWO crusts slathered in canned mushrooms, ground beef, chili sauce or catsup, and sour cream!

For the less pizza-like option, there's Pepperoni Rice.

There's no crust, no tang of tomato, and no stringy cheese on top, but I'll admit that saffron rice flavored with pepperoni and fresh mushrooms sautéed in butter, then topped with a heavy dose of cheese does not sound half bad. It's probably the best bet in the lineup, and, as the end note suggests, it's "A meal in itself. Add salad for a light dinner." Maybe just don't go for my recommendations....

3 comments:

  1. Whoever thought that mixing mayonnaise and marshmallow cream together should be locked up for crimes against taste buds. What were they thinking? Was it mix white creamy foods together day?

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    Replies
    1. People really love their sweet salad dressings.

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  2. You're right-- the stroganoff could easily be a baked sandwich. It doesn't seem particularly pizza-y, though.

    The Beet Gelatin Salad's only real asset is that it is so wildly optimistic. I'd be lucky to find ONE person who'd want to eat it, but it serves 24.

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