Melting penguins, making muffins, drying flowers, and other things to do in the microwave

Spring is once again making the dinosaur hordes that live atop my desk restless...

...so in the interests of keeping the house cool and the dinos quiet, we will once again be delving into the wonders of microwave cooking, as they were conceived of in the 1970s.

Tappan's Microwave Cooking Guide (1979), as you might expect from the standing rib roast on the front cover, is yet another '70s microwave cookbook that insists pretty much everything can (and should!) be cooked in a microwave.

What sets it apart is how dedicated it is to showing how microwaves work.  How dedicated? Let these little penguins show you:

Aww! What an adorable plate full of icy penguins! These little guys are in a microwave cookbook, though, so you should have a good idea of what's coming next:

Melted penguin heads! For science! "Note the penguin in the center has melted less because it was shielded from the microwaves by the surrounding mass." I guess it's good to be that one.

Aside from melting any excess ice penguins one might have lying around, Tappan microwaves had plenty of uses. Got a whole lobster?

Pop it in the microwave!

Like crafting?

Dry your flowers in the microwave!

And while this book, like others, suggested that microwave-baking was a fine idea, it at least acknowledged that micro-baked "goodies" were not going to look as attractive as conventionally baked ones and suggested ways to fix them up so they'd at least appear to be more delectable:

Add cinnamon crunch or cinnamon and sugar! Add toasted coconut or chopped nuts! Maybe the improved looks will allow you to pretend that the texture is not the same as that of the sponge you'll use to wipe the counter when you're cleaning up afterwards.

The enthusiastic "Yes!" on this page suggests that the previous owner was indeed able to suspend disbelief in the yumminess of microwaved muffins. This book belonged to someone far more optimistic than I. (Not that it's a difficult bar to hurdle...)

And in case you're wondering, yes, this book does have the traditionally questionable microwaved casseroles, like this diet delight:

Canned tuna and mushrooms over unseasoned mashed cauliflower! I'm sure the dried minced onion and tomato juice topper was enough to... uh... shore up one's resolve to eat a lot less.

Happy Cookbook Wednesday! Now go out and microwave something that logically, you probably shouldn't.

Thanks again to Louise from Months of Edible Celebrations for hosting.