Spring Chicken Surprises

Happy Saturday! I got you some seriously cute blue-and-white chickies (from Good Housekeeping's Cook Books 1958 "Poultry & Game Book"). 

I only got them as a pretense, though, to keep you from running away before I got to the less cute chicken pictures, like "Chicken-Octopus Hybrid":

Okay, I know they're just rings of onion, but I swear that chicken has suckers and it is ready to latch onto anything that gets within striking range.

I am also really wondering why the photographer thought it was a good idea to throw a crudely hacked up and just-beginning-to-brown avocado in the background. And look at the size of that seed! There's hardly any actual avocado. What a rip-off. (Just like those suckers will rip off your face!)

The recipe itself is not that bad. It's just chicken with a bit of onion and garlic and some canned potatoes. (I will never understand the obsession with canned potatoes, but maybe that's just me...) How the avocado was supposed to fit into this is anybody's guess.

If a chicken with suckers is a little too exotic, maybe you'd prefer a chicken with a really bad cold instead. May I present "Chicken a la Phlegm"?

Yes, there is some nice fluffy rice with a bit of greenery, and hints of crispy, golden-brown chicken, but it's all peeking out from under a liberal hosing of yellowish slime. The background suggests there's even an option to add orange-brown slime on top of the yellow if only one shade of goo is not quite enough for your taste. Yay!

Okay, this is really just fried chicken curry. It's probably okay if you don't mind apples hanging out with your mushrooms, onions, and teaspoon-and-a-half of curry powder. (This is definitely not from the same book that used a full quarter cup of curry in a few scrambled eggs.)

I hope this recipe is better than it looks. (Not that it would take much...)

Have a great weekend! May you not have the occasion to hose anything down with a thick layer of phlegm. (But if you do, may you at least witness some amusing reactions.)