It's a weird day in Pittsburgh

The sun is out (and ready to make me look like a boiled lobster)! The sky is blue, and all the leaves are green. Seems like a good day to head down to the rivers.

Today we have the Three Rivers Cookbook (Child Health Association of Sewickley, PA, copyright 1973, but mine is from the 1977 ninth printing). I picked this up at a garage sale because it looked well-loved and I liked Susan Gaca's cover art. If I can't actually visit a river, at least I can stare at the cover and try to mentally will the barges to move. (There's a fun summer day!)

If the illustration looks suspiciously like Pittsburgh, that's because Sewickley is a suburb of Pittsburgh, at least according to Wikipedia.

The beginning of the book made me think that it might be written for people just like me:

Yep, it starts out with a slushy drink to take the edge off "when you've read too many recipes"!

But then I found out that Pittsburgh's ideas about food and drink are... well...

I'm just going to say I've never longed for a drink made with clam juice and ketchup. (Plus, when I tried to look this up online, most people seem to think that J.D.A. is Jack Daniel's mixed with Amaretto.)

The book does have quite a few (questionable) regional recipes, like this one that's supposed to mimic a soup from Old Original Bookbinder's restaurant in Philadelphia:

I doubt that Bookbinder's felt too threatened by this version of their signature soup, though. A can each of tomato soup, pea soup, and lobster with some sherry couldn't be much of a match for the fresh vegetable and turtle or red snapper-based original.

A lot of common recipes seem familiar at first, and then I just have to wonder whether there's something funny in the water of those three rivers.

Stuffed cabbage usually has a beef and rice filling and a tomato sauce topping. Occasionally, I'll see raisins or apples in there somewhere. (Not that I understand the appeal, but they're not uncommon.)

Gingersnaps, though? Ginger? Snaps? And cabbage? With hamburger and tomato sauce?

Here's another one that goes off the rails. To me, the appeal of fruit salad is that it's very light and refreshing. Why bother with dressing when the fruits' natural juices make it plenty tasty? Of course, some people like to add a little something so it's not too plain, and the idea of honey dressing makes a certain kind of sense.

I can't imagine tasting a fruit salad and thinking it needs to be doused liberally with mustard-and-onion-juice-flavored oil, though, even if it has some honey in it....

I wasn't sure how to end this one, so here's a fun fact: Mr. Rogers made Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood for WQED in Pittsburgh. I found this out because of the sinister portraits of Corney and Lady Elaine in the dessert sauces section.

If you are insufficiently creeped out, just imagine them dousing each other with the Rum and Lime sauce for Melon Balls and then... well... let's just say that particular episode would never air.

You're welcome for that mental image!