A shiny and memorable bridal shower plan

It's wedding season! I'm going to straight-up admit that I don't have a recipe to add to your collection of recipes to give the bride at her shower. That's because I have recently acquired the precursor of 401 Party and Holiday Ideas from Alcoa (Conny von Hagen, 1971). Feast your eyes on the monstrosity that is Alcoa's Book of Decorations (Conny von Hagen, 1959).

This version has 100% more birds that will haunt your nightmares on the cover. (The bird will also unsettle you with the sneaking suspicion that it is somehow racist.)

If you've been wondering about the mad genius behind all this foil nonsense, this book provides an introduction.

This is Conny with her best friend, the big-eyed, shiny-eared creepy dog. She apparently spent her time "travel[ing] the country showing children and grown-ups how to make gay, lovely things of foil" and promising party decorations "detailed and spectacular in effect." I may shudder at her creations, but she found a way out of staying home all day chasing after kids and trying to replicate her mother-in-law's meatloaf. 

While this version has plenty of new foil creations, it has zero recipes, so my contribution to the bridal shower will have to be the Mop Bride, who for some reason did not make the cut in the 1971 edition. 

What woman wouldn't want to be represented with a literal mop-top haircut, foil boobs peaking through her see-through dress as she modestly stands in a wastebasket? It's a great centerpiece to help show off her gifts-- like that new wastebasket and mop (some disassembly required) preparing her for wedded bliss.

Should you want to horrify a new bride (or anyone, really!), the instructions are pretty easy. 

Just show up prepared to find yourself in the wastebasket by the time the party's over.