Summer offerings for the upcoming solstice

It's a weekend in mid-June! It doesn't get much better than this.... (Well, honestly, I might prefer a cool and spooky late October weekend if it didn't mean spending every single waking moment grading papers and planning classes because fall is the only time I can reliably get a lot of work, but I digress.)

Ahem. In any case, let's celebrate early summer with some traditional trappings: hot dogs and root beer floats! Our hot dogs come courtesy of Ruth Berolzheimer's 500 Tasty Snacks (1950).

Bonus if you're feeling too hot: these franks are cold. Plus, they look like they're part of a sea creature with a series of interior-facing eyes and endless rows of flippers.

Don't risk charred edges or grease flare-ups roasting frankfurters in a camp fire! Keep them nice and chill in some bouillon-flavored gelatin with hard-cooked eggs and celery. I'm sure the kids will be thrilled.

I know I suggested a root beer float for dessert, but Berolzheimer's 300 Ways to Serve Eggs (also 1950) offers something even better!

How about a Root Beer Egg Shake? No actual root beer (or ice cream), just root beer extract, raw egg, milk, and orange juice! Okay, it sounds more like an instant breakfast gone horribly awry than a dessert.

Why are you looking at me that way? Did I not deliver on the hot dogs and root beer?

Those recipes don't really count, huh? Fine. Here's something (also from the egg book) that should make you happy.

Why would I think a pretty standard zabaglione recipe would make you happy? Well, it's guaranteed to give you a "happy ending"...

...from someone who was clearly naive to the implications of "happy ending," especially when it's in quotation marks.

I'm just not sure how zabaglione would manage to pull that off....