British Meat Art/ Nightmare Fodder

I picked up Traditional British Cooking for Pleasure (Gladys Mann, 1967) hoping for some traditional British horrifying/ amusing pictures of meat, and I was not disappointed.

Of course, it had the Salmon Mousse molded into a salmon shape:

I'm pretty sure a salmon-shaped salmon recipe was obligatory in the '60s and '70s, but this one did not go with customary olive eyes and instead looks as if it has eyes (and a head outline, spine, and tail) sprayed on by a kid with a can of Easy Cheese.

The recipe suggests the features are just orange-ish mayonnaise, but I still say Easy Cheese.

The most horrifying animal outline in the book is also the smallest, and it's only in black and white, perhaps because seeing this in its full glory would be too much for a mere mortal to handle:

"The pigs are waiting ... for you!"

They'll be waiting for a while, as Boar's Head takes the better part of a week to make.

"Now the head can be decorated as you wish with pipings of lard, black olives surrounded with egg white for eyes, pieces of bone for tusks.... The head will keep for several days, and is best carved downward from the back." That's supposed to sound encouraging (and maybe appetizing?) rather than like nightmare fuel!

My favorite picture, though, is from a recipe that's only slightly less elaborate:

And what makes Hindle Wakes (Hen-of-the-Wake) so glorious, besides the fact that it's a cold chicken stuffed with prunes and coated in a lemon gelatin sauce?

It's the fact that Hindle Wakes looks like a lemon-pudding-covered puppy that has stolen Lucy Van Pelt's hair and is wearing a citrus-themed half-mask as it gets ready to fetch its tennis ball.

Or maybe it's just napping with its butt up in the air, surrounded by a bouquet of tar-filled tulips? Kind of hard to tell, what with the mask. In any case, little Hindle Wake is here with an important pre-Halloween tip: Do not wear a costume composed of pudding, prunes, and citrus. Things are bound to get messy. Plus, a chicken pot holder might start following you around, and that is just creepy.