Horrifying recipes for middle-aged children

 The Active Woman's Cookbook (Avon/ Ideals, 1980) wasn't just for active women. The end of the book has an extremely brief children's recipe section as well. I love the picture at the section's beginning.

Ugly-ass dad waited on by his ugly-ass sleepwalking kids, serving roast turkey? chicken? bird legs, potatoes, and steaming rolls or muffins-- which match none of the recipes in this section. 

No-- the book suggests kids make some fancy cute/ horrifying pancakes instead.

I guess whether they're cute or horrifying depends on one's feelings about eating a face-- and maybe about the racial implications of having some light and some dark pancake batters. I just like that the picture shows the electric skillet getting some use! It's the perfect size and shape for batches of pancakes.

I also like that the picture doesn't really seem to follow the instructions from the recipe proper. The funny face in the picture seems like it's sitting on top of the pancake-- cooked separately. The recipe says the face should be partially cooked and then the rest of the head poured over it, so the whole thing would be one piece. If the food stylists had trouble following the directions, I wonder how well the kids would do.

The other recipe that caught my eye seems like it should be very firmly in the horrifying camp.

"Tasty, tasty, beautiful fear."

Okay, I'm horrified by the clown, but the casserole doesn't look much better.

It's a salt-lover's dream, perhaps: cream of mushroom soup with three kinds of canned veggies, plus hot dogs and bacon. I'm not sure how canned peas would turn out the technicolor green in the picture, but maybe the clown's dark magic had something to do with that.

My favorite part of this section might just be the ugly-ass kids, though, so let's end with one more picture. 

This has no explanation, but I'm guessing it's supposed to be a party of some type-- maybe Halloween since one kid's wearing a mask with pajamas and another seems fine with being dressed up like Ralphie in the outfit Aunt Clara made him (sans bunny slippers). 

My favorite image might be the kid on the far left, though. I assume she's a kid since she's the same size as everyone else, but she somehow manages to look like a middle-aged housewife trying to put on a happy face for the work buddies her husband invited over with no prior warning. Yes, she can whip up an appetizer tray of quartered peanut butter sandwiches and Nilla wafers, but what is she going to serve once those run out? You can just see she's mentally trying to go over what's still left in the pantry and how she can combine it in a way that doesn't scream, "I had no idea you were coming over and tomorrow's grocery shopping day." What might they think of condensed cream of chicken soup spread over stale Triscuits and topped with wilted parsley? She lives in such a horrifying world that even the clown guarding the Frankfurter Casserole would have no effect on her, so she night be prepared for the horrors of being an actual housewife....