Marion Christian Church doesn't quite put the fear of god in me-- just the fear of Marion Christian Church potlucks

Today's blast from the past is a blast from the not-quite-so-distant-as-usual past, as Marion Christian Church 140th Anniversary Cookbook is from 1983. Still, we might as well check out this book for the church's 180th anniversary. (And yes, it appears to still exist.) 

I was sometimes puzzled by the naming conventions in this book. I'm not really sure what Shrimp Pizza has to do with pizza.

Maybe the Marionettes (That's what you call Marion residents, right?) were ahead of their time, though, as my first thought when I saw that the recipe mainly involved slathering cream cheese on a platter and dumping stuff on top was, "Oh! Make it a little more elaborate, and people would call it a cream cheese board now."

This book challenged my conception of ham salad as being a ham-and-mayo concoction.

I'd say this is probably more of a pickled or marinated ham type dealie, but nope! Ham marinated in diluted vinegar and onion is still ham salad according to this cookbook. 

I was also a little confused as to why the name "Long Sandwich" was chosen for sandwiches are that are made on "buns used for submarines." Obviously, Ruth Clark knew what submarine sandwiches were, but apparently making a sandwich on a sub bun was not enough to qualify it as a sub.

Maybe the mixture of onion, green pepper, and cheese didn't qualify because it was meatless? 

Still, the town seemed to have a pretty loose definition of what qualified as a submarine sandwich.

Pat Burnett had no problem calling Spam-Velveeta-egg salad on hot dog buns a submarine.

Some things had names that I might expect, but ingredients that threw me for a loop. Gelatin-based veggie salads are so common in these old cookbooks that I didn't think the blandly-named Vegetable Salad would offer anything new.

And then I realized that this is probably the first recipe I've featured to pair its lemon Jell-O, carrots, onion, celery, and cottage cheese with Cool Whip. Cool Whip. 

Similarly, I thought the Chicken or Turkey Chow Bake was probably some bastardized midwestern version of "Chinese" food, probably featuring poultry and chow mein noodles with either a cream-of-something soup with veggies or a sweet-and-sour sauce with pineapple and green peppers.

Instead, I found (probably!) the first recipe I've ever featured that pairs cream of mushroom soup with canned pineapple.

As scary as some of the recipes are, though, nothing quite rivals the candid photographs at the very beginning of the book, before the recipes. I am a sucker for not-at-all-creepy clowns, and this book welcomes readers with this unexplained, presumably Christian, not-at-all-creepy clown.

"Tasty, tasty, beautiful fear."

If the congregation is the type to put this clown out front and center, it doesn't surprise me that they are also proud of putting veggies in their Cool Whip and pineapple in their cream of mushroom soup. Thanks to my little sister for the nightmares this book she sent as a gift will inevitably inspire!