With Christmas fast approaching, maybe you're in a rush what with the buying, hiding, inadvertently breaking gifts when you forgot they were on that high shelf and blindly reached for something else, swearing, finding the alternate credit card, re-buying, re-hiding, realizing you forgot to buy the goddamn batteries again this year, re-shopping, etc., but the kid wants to leave Santa something different this year because "he" put in all that work. Well, Culinary High Notes (Toledo Opera Guild, 1978) has you covered.
For a quick cookie, the book offers Hansel and Gretel Gingerbread Cookies baked in the microwave.
After shaping the claylike dough into people, you're supposed to "Microwave on SIMMER for 2 minutes and 10 seconds," but I have no idea what the directions mean when they say "It will breathe after 1 minute." If you accidentally end up creating a real, breathing, tiny child who will probably also want presents, well... your Christmas just got a lot more complicated. And now that I think about it, will this recipe actually save time by being microwave-friendly? What with all the shaping, be-raisining, etc., it will take a while to make the cookie. And this calls for enough ingredients that it will definitely make more than one cookie... And are they supposed to be micro-baked one at a time? This will take forever. It might have been more efficient to just bake them in the oven. Okay, forget the cookies. Let's just leave Santa a drink that's a little more creative than milk.
He might not to get enough sugar from all the cookies, so let's spike 7-Up with pineapple and orange juices, plus a hint of peppermint extract since peppermint goes with everything at Christmas. Then add 7-Up ice cubes to make sure that the drink stays cold without the sugar getting diluted.
I'll bet Santa was hoping the "Surprise" in Santa's Surprise was of the alcoholic persuasion... So maybe scrap this whole plan and leave Santa a shot of bourbon... or a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon... or Dogfish Head IPA... or a black cherry White Claw... or whatever the "Santa" in your house likes best and can still afford after all those last-minute shopping trips. Cheers!
Maybe the microwave cookies were meant to keep the children busy while santa secretly raided the liquor cabinet. I thought that the punch should be alcoholic, too. I thought that the "breathing" part with the cookies is that they would puff up some and start letting off steam. You'll have to make some to test that theory, or maybe I will since it's supposed to be close to 50 outside today.
ReplyDeleteYou really shouldn't be able to put "surprise" in the punch recipe if it doesn't have alcohol. That's just misleading. The surprise is supposed to be good-- not disappointing. (Surprise! It's NOT going to take the edge off, and you're stuck dealing with everyone while perfectly aware of how awful they are...)
DeleteI've tried microwaving cookies. They went from raw to burnt with no stop in the middle. What a waste of be-raisining!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it would have worked if you'd watched for them breathing. XD
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