Egging on the Low-Carb Diet

Still keeping up with your new year's resolution to ditch the carbs, or have you already given in to try out the new Chocolate Hazelnut Oreos because new Oreo flavors are so rare that you can't miss out? (At least, you can convince yourself that they're rare, right? That's a good excuse.)

You're not alone! People have been making (and breaking) similar resolutions for decades! Today we'll examine one of the earlier iterations of low-carb diets: Dr. Atkins' Diet Revolution: The High Calorie Way to Stay Thin Forever (recipes and meal plans by Fran Gare and Helen Monica, 1972, but mine is from the 12th printing, Feb. 1973). 

If you look closely, you might notice the added bonus of a price tag for "Dr. Adkins" from a seller who didn't pay much attention to the actual title!

The book has all the cultural sensitivity one would expect from a doctor proclaiming the virtues of slenderness who adorns his desk with jolly Buddha statues.

I will admit that my unfamiliarity with Baken-ets made me give this Matzoh Ball Soup recipe the benefit of the doubt. I thought maybe they had as much bacon as McCormick's Bac'n Pieces (which are vegan). But no, Baken-ets are fried pork skins and still very much a thing (probably helped in popularity by all the current low-carb dieters!), despite my cluelessness about them. So, yeah-- the "matzoh" balls in this soup are made out of pork instead of unleavened bread. You don't need to be as much of an expert on Judaism as I am (and that's a joke because I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination) to know that's not kosher!

Non-kosher dieters were probably thrilled by the recipe just because the matzoh balls consisted of something other than eggs, though. The book relies so heavily on eggs as stand-ins for bread products that it might as well have been subtitled "A Dozen Ways to Pretend Eggs Are Something Other Than Eggs." Eggs are whipped, spread in a thin layer on a buttered baking sheet, baked, and cut into thin strips to serve as "noodles" for soup. They're whipped with cottage cheese, piled on a baking sheet, baked, and served as "rolls" to go with dinner or to cut in half, pile high with cold cuts, and eat as a sandwich. A similar mixture (just add some soya powder) baked in a bread pan instead of in individual portions makes a loaf of "bread."

And if you're really hard up for some French toast, well...

...just soak your eggs in MORE eggs with a little cinnamon and Sugar Twin, and call it French toast.

If you craved a nice pie for dessert, eggs could even make a pie crust.

It's not quite the same as an angel pie, but it's similar.

What low-carb goodies can low-carbers fill it with? My favorite combination seems like a distant cousin of the Seafoam Pie.

Aside from the different crust from Seafoam Pie, this one is enriched with a layer of cream cheese, uses a strawberry gel instead of lime-flavored gelatin, and is sweetened with "Slim-ette maple syrup" and No-Cal strawberry syrup. It still has the random melon balls, though.

If all these recipes are driving you to drink, well, this doesn't have alcohol, but it's low-carb.

Yep, I'm leaving you with the mental image of diet ginger ale with globs of peppermint-flavored whipped cream. You're welcome. At least it doesn't have a raw egg in it! (Of course, now I've planted that image in your imagination, so it kind of does. No need to thank me.)