Chapter 1: The Setup
It's that glorious time once again: Pieathalon Day! Just in case the Pieathalon is a new concept for you (and it's probably not, as you were likely redirected here from someone else's Pieathalon entry), the delightful Yinzerella of Dinner Is Served 1972 facilitates a recipe exchange among a group of people who blog about old recipes and cookbooks. We all send in our wildest vintage pie recipes (or best ones, for bloggers who are nicer than I am), receive one in return, bake it, and post our results.
Keep in mind that my blog consists mostly of scans of old cookbooks-- I don't usually cook! So it should come as no surprise that my pies are usually wrecks. (Just thought newcomers should be prepared.)
So what challenge did I get this year? My pie came courtesy of Greg at Recipes for Rebels. He wrote Recipes for Rebels…in the Kitchen with James Dean. For this year's Pieathalon, Greg cracked open Pillsbury's Best 1000 Recipes: Best of the Bake-Off Collection (ed. Ann Pillsbury, 1959)...
...and sent me Chocolate-Crusted Coffee Pie.
I'm sure this recipe sounds delectable to a lot of you, but if you're not familiar with this blog, I hate pretty much everything. That includes coffee. I sign up to make these things because it's fun, but I don't expect to like them because I'm a weirdo. So let's get started.
Chapter 2: Poppy Tries to Cook
First, gather all the pie crust ingredients.
Then mix them up and roll out 2/3 of the dough to fit in my pie pan.
Yeah, yeah. I know I was supposed to flute the edges, but the crust was seriously hard to work with because it was full of chopped pecans. I could only roll it thin enough to fit the pan-- no extras at the edge for fancy fluting. Maybe I should have saved less dough for the second crust. Maybe I should have cut the pecans smaller than they were when I bought them. It would probably also help if my pie pan were actually 9 inches, but it's 9-1/2. The point is, I am too lazy to try to figure out how to do a fluted edge on the crust, even though Greg was nice enough to send me (blurry) instructions.
You'll notice that this pie is also unusual in that it has a "second layer of tender pastry hiding in the filling." That means the remaining third of the crust got kind of rolled into a circle to be baked separately. (I was not too precious about it because it would be hidden anyway. Nobody's going to see it, so what do I care how it looks? Well, I guess you will see it, but if I cared what you thought, I would be too ashamed by my pie-making skills to keep doing the Pieathalon year after year.) I know I was supposed to "mark six wedges" on it, but I just cut the crust most of the way because I was worried it would be hard to cut once it was submerged in the filling and I couldn't see it. And I made eight sections because the slices would be massive if there were only six. And I baked it on a cookie sheet since I didn't have an 8-inch cake pan. I am not good at following directions.
While the crusts were cooling, I started on the filling. First, we need the ingredients:
Even after yesterday's meeting, I was still shocked that a gust of icy wind blew through the door at our prearranged meeting spot. It's still summer! How does John Ruth do that? He must have been starving from running around in that cold weather because he immediately started eying the pie.
I thought for a second he was going to dive right in. "Shut the door!" I yelled. I handed him a hammer and some nails to make sure it would stay shut against the winter storm that had somehow followed him. Then I turned aside to address you, dear readers. If you haven't seen The Hateful Eight and don't intend to, well, you might not fully get the joke at the end, but I hope you're amused anyway. If you have seen The Hateful Eight, then you probably know where this is going, but I hope you like the payoff just the same. Don't let on that you know because I don't want to spook John Ruth. And if you haven't seen The Hateful Eight but want to and will be bent out of shape about spoilers, well, I hope you're dense enough that you haven't picked up on the plan yet. Just visit the other blogs participating in the Pieathalon, maybe check out my previous Pieathalon posts, and wait to scroll down to the results at the very end of this post until after you've watched the movie. Now I better get back to talking about the pie since the door seems to be firmly shut.
- Jenny at Silver Screen Suppers was subjected to my entry, Surprise Fudge Pie
- Yinzerella at Dinner is Served 1972 got to play with candy bars for Mahogany Pie
- S.S. at A Book of Cookrye got to find out whether Osgood Pie is any good
- Surly at Vintage Recipe Cards had some fun with Rum and Butterscotch Pie
- Greg at Recipes4Rebels smells nice and citrusy from making a Tarte à l'Orange
- Dr. Bobb at Dr. Bobb’s Kitschen tried to learn whether the way to the heart really is through the stomach with Ann Landers' Save Your Marriage Meat Pie
- Kari at The Nostalgic Cook got all fancy with Tarte au Petit Suisse
- Taryn at Retro Food for Modern Times went wild with Ozark Pie
- And maybe I missed somebody?! (Check back and I'll fill in as needed. We were not at our most organized this year...)
My previous pies:
Year Two: Brandy Alexander Pie
Year Three: Lemon Meringue Pie
Year Four: Nutty Caramel Pies
Year Five: Strawberry Ginger Pie
Chapter 4: John Ruth Tries the Coffee